Like a Bird Without a Feather

Today, tonight rather, a very drunk and possibly narcotic using young man boarded the train and sat in front of me.  He promptly passed out.  When the conductor, who happens to be a sweet old man on the 9:40 train, came by and asked for a ticket.  The guy mumbled about circles.  The conductor told him to look for it and he'd come back.  When he came back, still no ticket.  After some time, the conductor asked him, after waking him, where he was going.  He just pointed and he mumbled "same place."  At one point the conductor started teasing him, telling him he had passed where he was going, as we had elucidated that he was going to LaGrange, and we were already 10 miles past there.  He refused to get off (regardless of the fact he was riding for free).  The woman across from him tried clarifying his predicament for him.  His only response was, "Don't you think I know that."  He then asked where she was getting off.  She got up and moved cars, and his prompt response was fucking bitch.  It was about this time he realized we were laughing at him.  He stood up and called me a fag, the man behind me an asshole, and the rest of them "them fucking people."  Oh yes, the conductor was a troll.  He sat back down, and I got up and waited near the doors, as I only had 3 stops to go and didn't want to listen to him.

He followed me into the door area.  He had a sixer of beer, busch light, if you can call that beer.  There was obviously a broken bottle in the carrier. 

I was told that if I "put his shit in peril, I will kill you." 

I ignored this.  I simply stared out the window. 

He then screamed "Nothing, nothing."  "Is that all you have, nothing?" 

I said, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about sir." 

He responded with, "Mumble mumble, you're an intellectual, look at you, NOTHING." 

"I'm sorry?" 

"Ignorance will get you far huh?" 

"Sir, I don't appreciate your insulting me."  (I've never been so polite about this shit that I can think of in my life) 

"Your stupid fucking face is going to get you far, huh?" 

"You're a God damn drunk impotent dolt that missed his stop because you can't hold your fucking liquor, and its nasty ass Busch Light asshole.  And I'm the ignorant asshole riding the train home from law school.  Fuck off and die you cunt." 

He then shoved me and I threw his sixer to the ground, and railroad police promptly escorted him off at the next stop.  The problem was it was the Downers Grove stop.  My stop.  Luckily, the drunk asshole fell, was throwing a fit, and the Railroad Police called the real police.

I helped an old lady clean the snow off her car.

Yes, I say fuck a lot.  I'm working on it.